Mar 31, 2009

We're feeling a little low, deflated, and violated at G4U this week. Warm wishes, offers of help, and hugs have come our way since the fire at the farm and vandalism at the store. Thank you all. It does help to know you're out here routing for us.

Here's some much needed, light relief in the way of a few green/food/cultural funnies.

I'll start with a road sign erected on the streets of my college town, Swansea, Wales. All signs in Wales have to be bi-lingual, English and Welsh, by law. The English translation of the welsh text on the sign reads, "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated." What actually happened was that the sign company sent text to be translated by e-mail and what came back (in Welsh) was an e-mail reminder that the translator was out of the office. When proofing signs, the person really needs to be able to speak Welsh!

Here's my favorite quote from American treasure, Langston Hughes: "Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you." - Langston Hughes
I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn.- C.E. Cowman

What is small, red and whispers? A hoarse radish.

I garden, therefore I weed.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight.- Rita Rudner

The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig.- Texas Bix Bender

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.- Dave Barry

Checking the menu in a Welsh restaurant, a customer ordered a bowl of vegetable soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of wetness right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called the server over and said, "It's all wet down here. The bowl must be cracked." The server said, "You ordered vegetable soup, maybe it has a leek in it."

What is the difference between boogers and spinach? You can't get your kids to eat spinach.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.- Doug Larson

If April showers bring May flowers,what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.

Laughter is brightest, in the place where the food is.- Irish proverb

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.- English Proverb (Ouch - trust the English to apply maximum impact with few words and a smile!!!)

What do you call a country where the people drive only pink cars?A pink carnation.

The act of putting into your mouth what the earth has grown is perhaps your most direct interaction with the earth.- Frances Moore Lappé

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.- Lewis Grizzard

I'm on a 90 Day Wonder Diet. Thus far, I've lost 45 days.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.- Doug Larson (I'm vegetarian, and even I agree with that one!)

When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. - Chinese proverb

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.- Samuel Johnson

Never fall out with your bread and butter. - English proverb

This meal is the labor of countless beings;let us remember their toil.- Zen meal chant

A Welsh lad came home from school and told his Mam he had been given a part in the school play. 'Wonderful, 'replies his Mam, 'What part is it?' The boy says, 'I play the part of the Welsh husband.' Mam scowls and says, 'Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part.'

Rhys: Doctor, I can’t stop singing the Green, Green Grass of Home. Doctor: That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. Rhys: Is it common? Doctor: It’s not unusual. I grew up in the same village as Tom Jones - Treforest, South Wales, UK. I used to shelter from the rain during my paper round as a kid in the red telephone box on Laura Street (where Tom Jones grew up). Tom Jones later bought this telephone box and relocated it to his home in the USA. The telephone box made it to the States before me!


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